Pocket Full of Posies' LiveJournal

Subject:	Kieran.
Time:	9:44 am.

In three weeks' time, Kieran will be five years old.

FIVE.

This is a milestone, not just for him but for us too. We actually survived our first five years of parenting, and maybe more fittingly, we let Kieran survive.

Five years ago we threw in the towel on our life of freedom and excess to hang with truly rough trade--crying babies, temperamental toddlers, demanding kids. Night after night of going to bed exhausted, or sometimes not even to bed at all. Truth is, you know you're a parent when 15 minutes of extra sleep sounds better than 15 minutes of hot lovin'.

Pre-children, you'd be able to find me at the MAC counter, scoping out all the hot new offerings. Since then I've become the person you glare at when you go to Target because her children are being too obnoxious.

Five years may only be a small amount of time compared to the rest of our lives as parents, but it's significant enough to deserve recognition. And I'll hold up the accomplishment like I would an AA token: Five years, one day at a time. Because being a parent is damn hard work too.

So we made it, oftentimes with our lives spiraling vigorously out of control, but we made it. It's been a tiring, difficult and altogether joyous five years.

It's not easy being a Christmas baby. Unlike his younger sister who has already had a birthday bash for each of the two years of her life, Kieran hasn't had one at all. We kept finding reasons (well, Christmas) to not throw him one. But this year is special so we gave him the choice of a weekend at Disneyland or a birthday party. He chose the latter. So we're throwing him a party at this place that has a lot of inflatable bouncy equipment, because kids just can't get enough of that. A place where parents need to exercise minimal supervision because the staff does everything for you, a place where kids get to run and jump and play and expend the very last ounce of their energy so they go home exhausted. Oh, don't think we didn't think this through.

It's going to be a good time. Then we'll do something we've never done either--we'll be celebrating his birthday on his actual birthday. My family will all be over at our house on Christmas anyway, so we're splitting the day and doing a little family party for him too. Because everyone says that being a Christmas baby sucks, and we're determined to make it fantastic for him. He deserves it because he's our wonderful little boy.

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Subject:	The one in which I talk about my quarterly cycle.
Time:	11:34 am.

I know, I know. It's been forever since I posted, and here I am, back, just to bitch about the menses.

So I've had this interesting little revelation. I've been on a birth control pill called Seasonale for a little over a year now. This pill is great because you take it for three months and then you have a period. That's right, four periods a year. They're a little longer and heavier than the average monthly one, but in my opinion, it's worth the trade.

As a general rule, I don't suffer from PMS. Although I've had occasional bouts of physical PMS symptoms (slightly crampy, bloaty, etc.), I have never experienced emotional PMS like a lot of women do. I tend to be pretty even-keeled and rational most of the time, unless something major happens to set me off.

Looking back armed with what I know now, I've become aware that Seasonale turns me into a RAGING FUCKING BITCH every three months. The first 3 cycles I had some bouts of being overly emotional, but I attributed them to stress, kids, and whatnot. Then over the summer I went though a brief period (a week or so) where I was questioning my mental stability. I was upset, anxious, stressed, and generally bitchy. One night I went to bed and actually cried myself to sleep after entertaining horrible fantasies of my family dying and leaving me behind. I also went though a low self-esteem period, not understanding how anyone could possibly like me or how my existence in the world could possibly be meaningful. WTF? That is NOT like me at all. The following night as I popped my pill, the proverbial light bulb flashed on in my head. I looked at my pack and saw that I had about a week of pills left. I then counted back over the last several months and mentally added up all the times I'd been a raving lunatic, which I could count on one hand (not necessary to confirm the accuracy of that statement with my husband), and it made sense. I realized that there was a direct correlation between getting closer to my period and and my mental/emotional instability. It took me a long time to make the connection because it only happened every three months, so it didn't stand out.

Well over the last several days I've been a RAGING FUCKING BITCH again. I've been snapping at Chris and I've chewed the kids' heads off repeatedly for minor things. And then it hit me. I'm in my last month of pills. This is no coincidence. I'm irrational, easily irritated, pissed off out about the smallest things, and screaming for no good reason, which undoubtedly makes me extra popular with the neighbors. It's all I can do to not start throwing plates at the wall.

So now that I know that I'm only suffering from temporary insanity, I need to figure out what to do about it. The pill treats me wonderfully with no other side effects, plus I LOVE having to deal with my period only once every 3 months. I'd really hate to go off it. But at the same time, I'm not exactly enjoying turning into Dr. Jekyll for a couple of weeks every cycle either. It's definitely not fair to my family. I didn't have this problem on a regular monthly birth control pill though.

So I'm now left with trying to make the decision of going back to the old reliable monthly, or staying on this one and focusing awareness on the problem. Allowing myself more time and more space; stocking my patience and my liquor cabinet.

I think I'm going to make an appointment with my doctor to get his opinion on what I should do.

Copper Piece For Your Thoughts | Quests Completed (19)

Subject:	Monday update
Time:	11:31 am.

A new month is here and I've left the madness of October behind me. It was fun but I'm ready for a breather before we jump into the holiday season. It won't be long before I'm flailing around again, trying to grasp what was already a tenuous hold on my sanity.

October was filled with birthday parties, other social events and of course Halloween. Chris decided that he wanted to be Edward from Twilight. The costume idea was very tongue-in-cheek and he played up the sophomoric aspects of the movie--bad makeup with the telltale foundation line, Edward's constipated look of discomfort, etc. I decided to accompany him as a Twilight fan so I sported a Team Edward shirt and accessorized with the book and "I <3 Twilight" written on my face. Chris brought along the apple.

Halloween with the kids was a lot of fun. The Carleys and the Cheesmans came over with their kidlets in tow and we embarked on a team trick-or-treating effort around my neighborhood. It was disorganized and exciting, just the way I remember it as a kid.

There are photos of a Halloween party we attended here and some random Halloween images here.

And with that, it's lunchtime.

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Subject:	Product Pimp!
Time:	3:22 pm.

Generally speaking, I'm not a fan of the taste sensation of tart. Sure, there are exceptions (I love citrus for example), but for the most part I'm all about rich, creamy and decadent and tart isn't something that I usually find pleasing to my tastebuds.

Until my evil husband brought this home, that is:

Key Lime Graham Cracker gelato. Now let me tell you, normally I wouldn't touch key lime pie. For something that's kind of an insult to my tastebuds, it's just a huge waste of calories as far as I'm concerned. If I'm having dessert, bring on the white chocolate macadamia nut cheesecake with caramel drizzle, you know? So I dug into gelato this last night with very low expectations, figuring one bite would be more than enough and...OH HOLY FCUK THIS IS AMAZING. It's rich, it's creamy, it's only slightly tart (yay) and it's just plain delicious. Plus the little graham cracker crumbs add a wonderful texture and flavor that any food sensualist will enjoy.

Trust me. TRY THIS GELATO. You won't be disappointed.

Chris also brought home this stuff... blood orange sorbetto, made with pure Sicilian blood orange juice. I don't know why, but when I hear Sicilian blood orange juice I get this image of a well-dressed vampire languishing on the shore of the Mediterranean, exsanguinating a fruit. And doesn't that just sound refreshing?

I do admit to loving blood orange, and once again, HOLY FCUK, this shit was amazing.

So there's my product endorsement. I can't wait to try all the other wonderful flavors in this line, which can be found in your grocer's freezer. :)

Copper Piece For Your Thoughts | Quests Completed (15)

Subject:	My own medical mystery
Time:	2:48 pm.

Well, I've had a very eventful day so far. Let me explain what happened.

At 4:30 this morning I woke up to go to the bathroom. In my half-awake state I noticed that my upper body was hurting. I remember thinking that my bones were sore, but I wasn't sure why. I fell back asleep after doing my business.

I woke up again a little over an hour later and noticed that the pain had gotten much worse. This time it was full-on chest pain, with pain going across my shoulders and radiating down both arms, making them feel tingly.

Oh no, I am not having a heart attack. I'm young, I'm healthy, and there's no significant history of heart problems in my family.

I got up and walked around, and the pain become more noticeable. It was a pain I'd never felt before. After a few minutes I decided to err on the side of caution instead of trying to figure my body out. If it was a heart condition, it was an emergency. The pain wasn't too bad at that point so I got dressed and slipped out of the house without waking Chris up. It was still dark outside.

I drove to the ER (only a few miles away) and checked in. Within 5 minutes of walking in the door I was hooked up to an ECG to monitor my heart. The doctor asked me some questions and ordered tests. A more comprehensive (12-lead) ECG was ordered, which was performed about 10 minutes later. While that was being done, a phlebotomist stood outside the door, waiting to draw blood.

As I waited for the lab tests to run, the pain in my chest suddenly became really bad. Bad enough that I was breathing hard, feeling nauseous, shaking and breaking into a sweat. I couldn't get comfortable unless I sat up in the bed, rocking myself back and forth. I called the nurse who said she'd talk to the doctor about getting some pain meds on board.

The doctor came back into my room to tell me that the ECG and bloodwork had come back normal. But because I was having pain come and go (also a possible symptom of heart attack), he wanted to do a chest X-ray. They wheeled the machine in, took the picture that I could barely stay still for because I was in so much pain, and then left.

Eventually the pain subsided. I had about 15 minutes of feeling okay and then the pain started up again. The doctor came back into the room to tell me that the X-ray was negative. But after seeing another "episode" starting up, he ordered a second ECG just to confirm the results of the first, followed by a CT scan to make sure I didn't have a blood clot in my lungs. He also ordered some pain medication.

The ECG tech came back in to do the second test, then a nurse came in to start an IV and pumped some narcotics into me. It took a good amount of the pain away. After about 20 minutes of laying there utterly enjoying myself and thinking spending the morning in the ER was the best idea EVER and that really, more people should do it because they don't realize all the fun they're missing, the CT tech came to my room to whisk me away. She had a mustache.

The CT was done first without contrast then with it. Just as we were finishing up, I noticed the narcotics starting to wear off and the pain creeping back in. The tech delivered me back to my room and got the nice nurse to come back with another syringeful of Happy for me.

So to tally it up, I had bloodwork, two ECGs, an X-ray and a CT scan, and the results were...

wait for it...

wait for it...

INCONCLUSIVE.

Basically, everything looks A-OK and nothing explains the crushing chest pain. My heart and lungs appear normal and my labs all look good. The best the doctor can come up with just based on my symptoms and lack of any other problems is pleurisy, but that diagnosis is just a guess. So I was discharged from the ER with a bunch of paperwork, a prescription for Percocet and orders to go back to the hospital if the symptoms worsen. If it's pleurisy, it should resolve within a couple of days.

So that's my story. Weird, huh? Oh yeah, and that ER has their shit together. Talk about efficient.

Copper Piece For Your Thoughts | Quests Completed (29)

Subject:	It's almost fall!
Time:	11:01 am.

Today is Killian's half birthday. 2 1/2 already! I can't believe it.

Can I take a moment to say how excited I am about the weather and all the Halloween stuff out in the stores? Yesterday after work I stopped by Target and almost everything is out. I picked up a costume for Kieran. Up until about two weeks ago he wanted to go as Spider-Man again but right now he's in a huge Transformers/Bumblebee phase so I got him a Bumblebee costume, and he's so excited.

I picked up a couple of Skelanimals keychains to add to my and Killian's collection of cute dead animals. This is dangerous. First Legno and now Skelanimals. Resistance is futile.

It feels like there's so much promise in the air right now. One week til the equinox.

Copper Piece For Your Thoughts | Quests Completed (5)

Subject:	An update
Time:	9:51 am.

I am so freaking tired today. I'm just feeling off. I think I've been fighting something for a while now. Thank goodness the spinning in my head finally went away.

The weekend was pretty mellow. We were overbooked on Saturday afternoon with two events and we attended neither because I just wasn't feeling up to it. By evening I was better so we hit Mike & Asa's birthday party, which was a load of fun. Watching Kieran flirting and hanging all over a very party-happy Kate was really funny. He's such a huge flirt. Around midnight the kids passed out on the couch so we packed it in and headed home, smelling like campfire. Love that smell. Pics from the party are here.

Sunday we hung out, ran a few errands and then drove down to the Bankers Hill area for some very tasty and satisfying Mandarin House cuisine. The rest of the weekend was largely spent on WoW, where I worked on a bunch of skills. I'm enjoying my hunter character a lot.

That's about it. Got a pretty busy week at work. Friday we're having a Hornblower cruise teambuilding event that includes a scavenger hunt on Coronado Island. Should be fun.

Copper Piece For Your Thoughts

Subject:	Kieran has a diagnosis.
Time:	11:18 am.

We had another visit with the pediatric neurologist this morning to follow up on the EEG Kieran had a couple of weeks ago. The EEG confirmed that he has epilepsy. Based on his age, his symptoms and the locations of the abnormal brain activity, the neurologist is 99% sure that it's benign rolandic epilepsy, meaning that he'll grow out of it before he hits adulthood.

He's going to remain unmedicated unless he starts having seizures on a regular basis, so we'll just have to watch him. As epilepsy goes, this is the best kind to have since it isn't a permanent condition. The only thing we have to do is pay attention to him and make sure that he isn't overly tired or having learning difficulties, both of which could indicate that he's having seizures in the night, which is when they're most likely to occur.

Otherwise, that's about it. I'm really glad to have a diagnosis on this and am happy that it's not something significant. We can definitely all live with this.

Copper Piece For Your Thoughts | Quests Completed (13)

Subject:	Back from vacation, boo.
Time:	11:33 pm.

So I finally found some time to download my photos and make a post. I am so, so, so sad that our vacation has come to an end, for it was utterly fabulous. The weather in Vegas was really nice, more tolerable than it had been in San Diego the week before last (and I hear last week was pretty ick too). I think the highest it got was maybe 105, and the last two days we were there it was only in the high 90's. Plus it's so dry anyway that the heat was no big deal. It actually rained briefly one day and they shut down the pool for a couple of hours because they expected lightning, but the storm passed.

I took quite a few photos but I'm only sharing a handful. Family vacation photos are pretty redundant if you stay in one place the whole week. You can only look at so many pictures at the same kids in the same pool, right?

So we did exactly what we intended to do in Vegas--sleep in, wake leisurely, eat, go to the pool, lazily sip cocktails, eat, nap, shop, walk around, eat, and just hang out enjoying being together. And you know what? It was wonderful. We ended up booking a sixth night because we just couldn't bear to go home and we'd have stayed a seventh too, but it was Saturday night of Labor Day weekend and the rate for that night was just too steep for another 24 hours. So we hauled ourselves out of the pool Saturday afternoon, packed and said goodbye to Vegas in our rear view mirror. Truth be told, we could have stayed another week.

I'm not sure how we'll ever go back to staying in a regular hotel room after spending the week in the 1200 square foot suite we were in. It just really made the trip. Some say that it's a waste to get a nice hotel room but I'm all about a little luxury. Since my favorite thing to do is relax, I like to relax in a nice place. And it was definitely worth it.

Here's where we stayed. Our hotel room was on the bottom of that Beatles banner, so we got a nice view of the pool.

We just love this pool. Mandalay Bay has the cool beach but this has a real taste of the tropics.

( More this way )

Copper Piece For Your Thoughts | Quests Completed (6)

Subject:	Greetings from Sin City.
Time:	11:27 pm.

Chris needed to log in for some business tonight so he signed up for a little Internet action, Which means I'm logging in for a quick post.

We are having a fabulous time here in Vegas. The hours and days are breezing by. It's funny how time changes when you're on vacation. Your entire mindset changes. I realized this afternoon that it was Wednesday, and I thought about what I would be doing at work if I were there. Except I wasn't there. I was floating on a raft in the middle of the expansive pool, gazing up at the tall palm trees and thinking about the pina colada that should have been in my hand (which unfortunately wasn't). Oh yeah, this is the life.

So far we have eaten a great deal, spent hours at the pool, taken the kids to an indoor theme park, seen dolphins and tigers, walked around a lot, and even managed THE SEX in the afternoon with the kids unawares in the next room. This suite we're in is freaking awesome. It's bigger than our old apartment was. We could definitely hole up here for a couple of weeks and not get bored. The bathroom even has a bidet. That's just cool.

It's cool enough that we decided we probably want to extend our stay by another night so we probably won't be coming home til Saturday, unless we decide we've had enough on Friday. It used to be hard for me to imagine spending any more than a weekend in Vegas, but there's a real difference between coming here to party vs. coming here to relax.

I've actually been reading my book a little bit. :)

So far the funniest thing that's happened has been with Killian and her crab. A couple of days ago we were sitting at the buffet having some crab legs. Killi asked Chris if she could try some crab, so he gave her a bite. Now, a little background info here. Chris believes that if a child takes a bite of something they don't like, though they aren't obligated to eat any more, they do have to swallow what's in their mouth. I believe that spitting should always be an option (get your minds out of the gutter now!) and I'm always quick to provide a napkin that they can deposit their food into. It's kind of weird that we think so differently on such a mundane topic. He thinks it's spoiling them to allow them to spit something out, and I believe that you should never be forced to eat anything you don't want to. So anyway, Chris gives Killian a bite of crab.

Killi (disgustedly, with mouthful of crab): Daddy, I don't want any more crab.

Chris: You don't have to have any more, just finish what's in your mouth.

Not having been given the option to discard the offending mouthful, our girl did what came naturally: she puked on her plate... crab, breakfast and all.

"Daddy, I don't like crab."

After the excitement, I asked Chris if he would ever deny the kids a napkin to the mouth again.

"No, never again!"

LOL it was so funny. A few minutes later I offered Killi some crab and her response was:

"I don't like crab. I threw up my crab."

And that's the line we've been laughingly repeating ever since.

Well, I think I'mma log off now. I have a book to read. Hope everyone's having a good week! :)

Copper Piece For Your Thoughts | Quests Completed (2)

Subject:	Insomnia
Time:	2:50 am.

It's 3am and I'm wide awake. This is really weird; I never suffer from insomnia. But for some reason I've been waking up every 30 minutes or so for the last 2 hours, with the same thought... it's still night?

I woke up again about 20 minutes ago and noticed the kids' bathroom light on. I thought that was strange so I got up to investigate. Both kids' doors were closed. I opened Killian's and there she was, awake and climbing back into bed. I asked her what she was doing. "I went pee," she whispered.

I can't believe she got up and went pee in the middle of the night all by herself, not even bothering to wake us up. This may be a first, although I can't know for sure. She may be getting up on a regular basis without us knowing. Regardless, I checked and saw that she was wearing underwear. Oh, crap. She's not night-trained so we always have her in a nighttime Pull-up. But she and the bed were both dry. This girl is amazing. She's definitely a self-motivator, and she's not even two-and-a-half yet.

It appears that she also has an ear infection. In the bathtub earlier tonight she told me her ear hurt. She woke up yesterday morning with her eyes crusty so she definitely has something. This sucks since we're leaving for our trip tomorrow. So in addition to the many other things we have to do, a trip to urgent care for some antibiotics is now on the list too. It's been quite awhile since she's had an ear infection, which is good. Of course one shows up now, right before we leave for our trip. I've been worried because it seems like a lot of people have been getting sick lately and of course the last thing you want is to get sick before you have big plans.

I wonder if this is why I can't sleep. Ear infection, Kieran's EEG, long weeks at work, lots of stuff to do... I didn't even get to have my pedicure because I left work so late...yeah, that's probably it. My stomach's been in mild knots the last couple of days. Stress. Maybe it's good that I'm sitting here typing it all out. Maybe I can go get some sleep now.

Copper Piece For Your Thoughts | Quests Completed (2)

Subject:	Almost there...
Time:	12:17 pm.

Taking a break out of my busy day to post.

Kieran had his EEG this morning. Chris and I hung out and watched a movie with him last night. I showered him with soda and ice cream. I retired around 11:00pm while Chris stayed up with him. Then at 1:30am I was awoken by a very hyper Kieran, who wanted to know "what he could do next." I told him it was bedtime.

I kept him up talking til 2:00 and then he finally went to bed. I shook him awake at 6:45 this morning. After not being able to figure out how to get dressed (haha), crying and throwing a huge cranky fit (good sign), he settled down. Chris took him to his 9:30 appointment and apparently he went to sleep immediately. It only took 20-30 minutes for them to get the data they needed, which will be discussed with us the week we get back from vacation. So we don't have any results yet.

I'm trying to get all my crap wrapped up here at work so I can start my vacation. My last two weeks here have been HOLY CRAP BUSY. If I've ignored e-mails (and I know I have), it's not personal, I just haven't gotten a chance to respond.

Thursday is Chris' birthday and tomorrow we're having the family over to have a quickie birthday celebration before we take off. We drive out Sunday, hopefully decently early. We're going to go straight to Chris' mom's house for a visit (she lives about 20 minutes away from the Strip) before we settle in for a 5-night stay at the Mirage, which has our favorite pool in Vegas.

I've never been to Vegas for more than 2-3 days at a time so this'll be fun. It's going to be a week of exactly poolside, cocktails, food, relaxation, shopping, and maybe I'll allow myself a visit to that Qua spa I've heard such good things about. I'm bringing the second book in the Twilight series which I'm about halfway through (and which I started mmmm, in February, maybe?) and hopefully I'll actually get to read it. We'll see. I CANNOT WAIT for some downtime. I really need it.

Well, back to work to try to get everything done, then I'm going straight to the nail salon for a very needed pedicure. :)

Copper Piece For Your Thoughts | Quests Completed (4)

Subject:	Weekend highlights
Time:	9:44 am.

So so so so so tired. Staying up until 1:00am on a Sunday night is a bad idea.

Weekend was fun. Friday a small group of us got together to say goodbye to our dear friends Michelle & Brendan as they pursue a new life in the Bay Area. I can't believe they actually did it. *sniff*. I didn't take a ton of pictures but the few I took can be found here.

On Saturday it was up to Murrieta to celebrate Trevor's 5th birthday. There was food, cookies and cake, plenty of chaos to go around, and some fun pool time for the kids. That photo set is here.

On Sunday we went out to run a few errands and on a whim we decided to have dinner at Shogun Kobe. We haven't been there in at least a couple of years and I'm not sure why because that place is soooooo good. We thought the kids would enjoy the show: Kieran absolutely loved it and Killian was disturbed by all the fire and loud noises and kept telling me, "Mom, let's get out of here!" I think she thought we were in danger, LOL. Man, I wonder what it would cost to have a hibachi grill installed at home. I would love to have one of those.

Anyway, work calls. Gotta go.

Copper Piece For Your Thoughts | Quests Completed (3)

Subject:	Vacation!
Time:	1:30 pm.

So we have a few weeks yet before we go on vacation but Chris and I are so excited about our impending Vegas trip. We were debating on whether or not to take a vacation at all this year when I found a fantastic, can't-be-beat rate at the Mirage, which is our preferred hotel due to the wonderful pool (we're total poolside hounds).

Check it: A 1200-square foot suite with separate living room, dining room and bedroom. And of course there's a bar. The price? $150 per night. That's practically stealing. Of course these are mid-week rates so we'll be taking the entire week off. I booked 4 nights in the suite and then we decided to tack on an extra night in a regular room and come in a day earlier than planned so we could go visit Chris' mom too. I didn't exactly plan to reserve a suite, but when I found out that the regular rooms were only 400 square feet, well, when you have a 2-year old and a 4-year old with lots of energy, you want more room. So I asked for something a little bigger, and this is what they had.

The cool thing is that since we'll be taking the kids out of school for a week that saves us a week of tuition, so that cuts the price of our stay nearly in half. It just doesn't get any better than that.

So yeah, we are SOOOOO excited to go. It'll be a week of poolside lounging, hanging out, shopping, eating, etc. Total relaxation time. I just need to find my bathing suit body because I haven't seen it in a long time.

On that note, a few weeks ago Chris and I decided to give Nutrisystem a try. We both want to lose a few pounds and with both of us being so busy at work these days, there's been no time to hit the gym. So we signed up for a membership and have been trying it out.

The funny thing is that there have been so many events the last few weekends that while we eat well during the week, we totally let go on the weekends and indulge, so there's been little in the way of results. So we're going to have to buckle down after this weekend and really work on staying on track.

The plan is super easy. Some of the food is really good, a few things taste like total ass, and the majority of it is decent. After all, it's a diet so it's not supposed to be amazing food or anything. The best part is there's little planning and practically no cooking, so my evenings are much easier. I just make dinner for the kids. And price wise, it works out to being roughly the same as what we spend on food anyway, since we both tend to hit Starbucks for breakfast and then eat lunch out while at work. The food is ultra healthy too so we're eating what's good for us, and not junk.

We plan to be on it for probably just a couple of months. It's not a diet that you could easily be on long-term because the food is on the bland side.

Anyway, got more work training so I gotta run...

Copper Piece For Your Thoughts | Quests Completed (3)

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